Out of My Control
My lack of control over circumstances in my life has kept
being reinforced for me over these past few months of escrow and moving
activities. Frequently I have allowed the stress of this massive change in our
lives to supersede all else in ways I don’t remember experiencing in my life
before, to the point of almost shutting down. And Jesus’ still small voice
continues to pervade my thoughts with His promise of “Peace I leave with you,
my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not
your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid” (John 14:27).
But there are times I have found myself outside His peace because I wasn’t
paying attention. 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 is such a good reminder of where my
mind needs to dwell all the time: “Rejoice
evermore. Pray without ceasing. In everything give thanks: for this is the will
of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.”
But wait a minute. Didn’t I learn this before? In fact I
wrote about God’s peace and the other promises of God that we experienced while
going through Dan’s first cancer. “Even though we don’t have a choice about
what happens in our lives, we do have a choice about how we deal with
adversity. Choice number one is to ignore the promises and act like the rest of
the world, in bondage to the prince of the power of the air. Choice number two
is to, by faith, accept the sovereignty of God and recognize
that He is equipping you through circumstances for his service. As my
sister-in-law says, “When we change the way we look at things, the things we
look at change” (The Culture of Hope
Founded On Faith…, 19-20).
God is so patient with me when, in my human frailty, I keep
having to relearn those things that He has carefully engrained in me before. It
must grieve His heart to speak to me and be ignored. But then 1 John 1:9 says, “If
we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and
to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” He forgives me when I repent and come
to Him, as His child seeking her Father’s gentle embrace of love and acceptance,
for the peace he was offering all along.