Forgiveness
“Our Father which art in heaven, hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done in earth, as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread. And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil: For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, forever. Amen.” (Matt. 6:9-13)
In last week’s blog, I talked about seeking forgiveness from God. But the prayer goes on to say that we are also to forgive anybody that we have anything against. Failing to do so, as Jesus warns us, results in God’s withheld forgiveness of our trespasses: “And when ye stand praying, forgive, if ye have [anything] against any: that your Father also which is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses. But if ye do not forgive, neither will your Father which is in heaven forgive your trespasses” (Mark 11:25-26).
To forgive is to accept the consequences of someone else’s actions in a way that removes the power of that action to continue to hurt the forgiver. It is the giving up of a person’s claim to feel offense. It primarily benefits the forgiver, but it can also help the forgiven to know that their harmful action no longer contributes new injury.
In addition to the personal benefits of forgiveness, Colossians 3:16-17 establishes the correlation between our obedient walk with God and answers to our prayers: “And whatsoever we ask, we receive of him, because we keep his commandments, and do those things that are pleasing in his sight.” This includes following Jesus’s example and diligently forgiving those who have hurt or offended us.
The issue of forgiveness is one of having received forgiveness from God. We are called by God, in turn, to forgive others. By faith we forgive because it is an act of obedience to God’s Word. When Christians forgive in the middle of horrendous losses as a result of another’s actions, the world looks on with disbelief and confusion, wondering at the faith that makes forgiveness possible. The story of Amanda and Davey Blackburn is an example of this.
On Tuesday morning, November 10, 2015, Pastor Davey Blackburn went home from the gym to find his pregnant wife, Amanda, on the floor. He called 911. Two days later Amanda’s hospital life support was removed because her brain showed no viable activity and she died.
Afterwards, he returned home and lay down on the spot where he had found her. There he worshiped God, sang praise hymns, and cried.
Three men were arrested for the attack on her, apparently part of an attempted burglary and eight-day crime spree in the area. Pastor Blackburn told a journalist that “there is no way to prepare yourself for circumstances like these. As deeply as I am hurting I am hopeful and confident that good things will come of this.” (Madeline Buckley, “Indianapolis Pastor’s Wife Dies Following Shooting,” USA Today, November 12, 2015, accessed April 25, 2016, http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation-now/2015/11/12/pastors-wife-dies-shooting/75644914/.) Pastor Blackburn is now a single father raising his young son, Weston.
In an interview with Pastor Perry Noble of New Spring Church in South Carolina six months later, on April 24, 2016, Davey Blackburn described forgiveness in terms of daily decisions to reject bitterness and anger. The important factor in forgiveness is that it is intentionally denying control of your life by whatever has happened. It is not based on feelings. Pastor Blackburn further stated that the results of not dealing with his pain with forgiveness would be like a cancer that would eat away at him and ultimately destroy him and any usefulness he would have for God.
With salvation God gives the promise that, no matter what is going on around us, “… all things work together for good, to them that love God, to them who are the called according to His purpose” (Rom. 8:28).
That is how Davey Blackburn can say with confidence and sincerity, “I really hope I get the opportunity to share the Gospel with these guys … Imagine if these three guys met Jesus. Imagine the kick in the nuts that would be for the enemy.” (John Fisher and Chance Walser, “Davey Blackburn: I’ve Forgiven Men Who Killed Amanda,” RTV6/ABC “The Indy Channel”, April 24, 2016, accessed April 24, 2016, http://www.theindychannel.com/news/local-news/davey-blackburn-forgiveness-is-a-decision)
Llaniss Dickinson
August 31, 2017 at 7:47 pmDr. Merritt that was worded beautifully. Easily understood and makes forgiving an absolutely horrendous experience, (the loss of a loved one through murder), more doable for those of us that have experienced that. . . . Thank you Susan.
Susan Merritt, PhD
September 1, 2017 at 6:09 pmThank you for your comment, Llaniss. I am glad you find this article helpful and I hope you know that I continue to pray for you.